Before we get into this, if you haven’t seen The Artist, and intend on doing so, it is my duty to warn you that there are spoilers in this entry.
For those of you who have chosen to read on, I advise that you read this entry while sitting down, as the scandal that I have discovered may cause some dizziness and will leave you feeling nauseas and light headed.
Are you sitting down yet?
Good.
Anchorman. The Artist. Same movie.
Can you elaborate on this, The Ivester?
Of course I can.
Allow me to breakdown the core story lines of these films:
- Man is on top of his craft
- Man meets girl while on top of his craft
- Girl gets attention for interactions with Man
- Man gets fired by boss who promotes Girl to Man’s previous position
- Girl rises to the top while man falls
- Man envies and loves the girl at the same time
- Man and girl end up on top of their craft together
- End film with catchy closing line: “You stay classy… Planet Earth” (Anchorman) “Wis pleajare” (The Artist)
And. And. And. THE DOG! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!! Can we get a photo of this?!
It’s like they’re not even trying to cover it up!
At the end of the day, are you surprised? Do you really expect any less from the French? Allow me to make you a fly on the wall in the writers room of “The Artist”.
Michel Hazanavius: I love Anchorman. I want to make Anchorman. But I can’t make Anchorman, I’m French… I KNOW! I’ll make it super pretentious. Turn it into a silent film. But I’m keeping the dog. After all, I’m French, not a robot.
As much as we want to, we can’t place all the blame on the French. We must place blame on the film students who went to go see it at the Angelica, the Richard Roepers of the world for putting it on the top 10 of 2011 lists, +50 audience members who wanted to “culture” themselves, and of course the Academy. Take a man’s love for retarded weather men, scotch, delicious but filling burritos, make it black and white, add boozy jazz music, take out the words and the poop jokes and you’ve got an Oscar contender. That’s America for ya.
And there you have it friends. You heard it first here, at “The Ivester Presents…”
